Freedom To Choose
 
The fight against erosions of freedom...
From The Anti Smokers Bible...

The Anti Smoking Book Of Definitions



  • Scientist
    Anti smoking Statistician


  • Credible Scientist
    Statistician who says smoke is really, really, really bad.


  • Discredited Scientist
    Statistician who says anything else.


  • Proof
    Anything an anti smoking statistician says.


  • Preventable Death
    Death by something other than smoke.


  • Overwhelming Research Evidence
    150 anti smoking statistical stories that show passive smoke to be almost as harmful as hairdryers.


  • Overwhelming Medical Research
    A rat that died after having the liquified products of the equivalent of ten thousand cigarettes injected directly into its heart.


  • Smoking related illness
    Every heart attack and cancer multiplied by 2.


  • Smoking related deaths
    Everyone who dies except those killed in road accidents (unless they were smoking at the time)


  • Credible Commentator
    One that repeats ASH press releases word for word.


  • Widely welcome
    ASH and anti-smokers only; no-one else counts.


  • Popular public support
    Those middle class families who were polled at home at 9pm on a Saturday night.


  • Public Awareness
    Anything an anti smoker says in the multi million pound ad campaigns.


  • Success
    Removal of the smell of smoke from every business property in the land despite thousands of job losses, closed businesses and increased smoking.


  • Anti smoker
    A person suffering from OCD that hates the smell of smoke and works tirelessly to have it banned from someone else's pub.


  • Employer
    A person, who under the threat of large fines, must cater exclusively for anti smokers.


  • ASH employee
    Activist paid from Government funding and drug company grants.


  • Unacceptable behaviour by the tobacco companies
    Lying about the effects of smoke for their own gain.


  • Acceptable behaviour by ASH
    Lying about the effects of smoke for their own gain.


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